Tuesday, September 6, 2011

1st Campaigner Challenge

This is my first campaigner challenge!  Exciting stuff. It's a flash fiction, which I hadn't done before really. Also exciting. 

The rules are: 

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

So here's mine! I'll call it "Held:"


The door swung open. I knew it was him because he was the one who put me in here. The one who locked the door behind him. The one who said he chose me, when I didn't ask for it, when I didn't want him, when I said I wanted to leave.

He came in like the time before. He entered, as silent as winter, and he sat in the corner in the chair that seemed to face me no matter which direction I turned.

I wouldn't be like I was last time. I was done with begging. It meant nothing but a wound to my pride, which was quite possibly the only thing that I had left. I regarded him like he regarded me. The only difference was his glance was predatory, and I was sure mine was curious and laced with hate.

I didn't want him to know I hated him. That truth would come out later.

I was not going to be the one to shatter the silence either. If he wanted conversation, he'd have to pry it from my clenched teeth. But he didn't try, and all I did was watch as the door swung shut.


200 words! Woot.

If you liked it, be sure to vote for me here (linked). I'm entry #169, and you just have to click the "like" button underneath it apparently... Thank you much! :)
Now to leave you with a song to write by, "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. <3


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52 comments:

  1. Emily R. KingSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Great job! I think you'll do well!

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  2. SylviaSeptember 6, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    Aw. That's bitter sweet. You can sense the vulnerability of this woman as she watches him, steeling herself to be strong, when you really know she's not quite there yet. Well done for getting across such emotion.

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  3. Carrie ButlerSeptember 6, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    I hate him too! It's always good when a short piece has to power to elicit such powerful emotions. Great job! :)

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  4. Erin L. SchneiderSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    I love this line:

    "He entered, as silent as winter, and he sat in the corner in the chair that seemed to face me no matter which direction I turned."

    Very well written and leaves the reader with so many questions.

    Excellent submit!

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  5. Sangu MandannaSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Oooh that was really good! It's so hard to create something that short that still packs a punch, and yours did!

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  6. Beth KempSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Great piece! I'm enjoying reading these.

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  7. Movies on my MindSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    I like it but you could have gone in any which number of ways. Like, you could have imagined a 14-year old boy in his room watcing porn and the door swinging open. Maybe even a convict in a jail shower room and the door swinging open. Or in fact, a zombie swinging open a door to eat someone.

    This is why I'm not a writer. As you can see, creativity evades me...

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  8. Ed PilollaSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    i liked it. really good intensity between the characters. i just voted or liked your piece on the site:)

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  9. DEZMONDSeptember 6, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    "He entered, as silent as winter"
    I liked that one :)

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  10. Luanne G. SmithSeptember 6, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    Yes, good tension in that one. Well done.

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  11. Francesca ZappiaSeptember 6, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Great job! I really liked this, and I love the tension.

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  12. J.L. CampbellSeptember 6, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    I missed the challenge but lot of people had fun with it. You've conveyed a lot of determination in your character.

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  13. MarkSeptember 6, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    Good luck with the campaign:)

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  14. lindySeptember 6, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    Nice! I'm actually scared for her!

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  15. AmieSalmonSeptember 6, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    That was great, different to other pieces I've read.

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  16. GrillyfishSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    Goodness, powerful stuff! Well done :)

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  17. Gary GauthierSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    This is a great little vignette Kelley. In this my second flash fiction competition, I've learned that a neat and tidy plot is not necessary.

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  18. Melissa DeanSeptember 6, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    Great job! I'm a new member in your campaign group! Love it!

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  19. Theresa MilsteinSeptember 6, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    You made me hate him too. I hope she escapes.

    I love that song!

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  20. Miranda HardySeptember 6, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    Very nice! I enjoyed the darkness of it. Good luck with the challenge.

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  21. Jeff KingSeptember 6, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Nice work... thx for sharing!

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  22. Brenda SillsSeptember 6, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Hi Kelley! I love your writing style - fresh and interesting! And this is such a wonderfully executed scene. I think it's fantastic how he doesn't speak and is completely silent - adds so much to the scene & the character!

    I'm a fellow campaigner in the MG/YA category. I'm not in your group, but I wanted the fun of getting to know more writers. It's so great to meet you!

    I love the tagline on your blog! HaHa! - I'm SO not a math person!

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  23. Elisa DeLanySeptember 6, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    "He entered, silent as winter..." That line gave me chills. I love this challenge; the tension and heartache in the scene were palpable.

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  24. Rachele AlpineSeptember 6, 2011 at 9:29 PM

    I love the line about the chair that faced your narrator no matter what direction they were in. That's such a great image!

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  25. MeredithSeptember 6, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    Such a chilling story! I love the image of prying conversation from my clenched teeth. And I especially love this song!

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  26. Hermana Tiffany GarnerSeptember 6, 2011 at 10:50 PM

    Very interesting. I want to know the story behind it. What's going on? *shivers* Then again, my imagination might do enough.

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  27. Arlee BirdSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    Talk about strong willed.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  28. Megan LallySeptember 7, 2011 at 12:45 AM

    I love that line "silent as winter." That was an awesome scene, especially with the word limit. :-)

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  29. Sarah TokeleySeptember 7, 2011 at 4:03 AM

    I love it when a piece leaves me thinking about it.

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  30. Keta DiabloSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:22 AM

    Good writing. Enjoyed it!

    I got a late start and am working on my flash now! Should be up in a day or two.

    http://ketaskeep.blogspot.com

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  31. Rosalind AdamSeptember 7, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    And what's going to happen next? Go on, tell!

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  32. Susanna Leonard HillSeptember 7, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    Ooh, Kelley! This is a good one! I hate that guy too and I'm wondering how she got into this predicament and exactly what's going on. Makes me want to read more!

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  33. Becky MahoneySeptember 7, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Oooh, this is so creepy and evocative. I love the fact that just as she's steeling herself to confront him, he just leaves.

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  34. KelleySeptember 7, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    I was going to write to every single of one of you here like I normally do, but saying TY TY TY after every person's comment seems like overkill. I'm so happy about all the kind words you all gave me. It means SO much! TYYYYY!! On today's post, I ended with a question for you all about what I should do with little snippet stories like this. Let me know on the next post, and every single one of you, thank you again!!!!

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  35. catherinemjohnson.comSeptember 7, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Great anticipation building. I hope she'll be okay. Nice job!

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  36. Danyelle L.September 7, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Very nice! Made me want to know more. :D

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  37. DeanaSeptember 7, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Awesome job Kelly! Gosh there are so many good ones!

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  38. Angela CothranSeptember 7, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    Chilling! Nice job :)

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  39. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    I like that your character refuses to remain a victim. well done. Mine is #72

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  40. Elana JohnsonSeptember 7, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    I liked the "the hate would come later". That was nicely done.

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  41. Michael Di GesuSeptember 7, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    Hi, Kelley,


    Fellow group Campaigner here... I like the tension and your analogies are terrific...

    Good luck.

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  42. Steph SchmidtSeptember 7, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    That grabbed my attention. It was very refreshing after reading some of the other entries that tried to go dark but failed. Tension, pacing, ugh I want more!

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  43. Kurt HartwigSeptember 7, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    I really liked your push of the action forward, "hate would come later." Sends the story farther out ahead of us.

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  44. Alleged AuthorSeptember 7, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    The sheer emotion in this shines through your writing. Great job!

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  45. AliBSeptember 8, 2011 at 3:25 AM

    Hi Kelley
    I’m a fellow campaigner and for this challenge I have been given ten blogs to ‘judge’ and asked to short-list five. I love the way you have written this- direct but v. powerful, especially that 'silent as winter'and so I’m putting it on the shorlist!
    I have informed the powers that be.
    Well done and good luck in the next round.
    Ali B
    http://debutnovelist.wordpress.com

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  46. Denise Covey September 8, 2011 at 6:20 AM

    'As silent as winter' is my favourite line. Great work.

    Denise

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  47. Alicia GregoireSeptember 8, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    Very creepy, especially with the chair that seemed to face her no matter which direction she turned.

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  48. KelleySeptember 8, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Thank you to everyone for all the nice things you've said! The response has been overwhelmingly positive, and I'm more than stoked about that. Thank you again and again!

    And AliB, that's fantastic news! Thank you!

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  49. Isis RushdanSeptember 8, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    Same line Erin quoted is the one I loved. Enjoyed this a lot!

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  50. 1000th.monkeySeptember 9, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    Very nicely written :) Congrats on being shortlisted :)

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  51. UnknownSeptember 15, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    Great entry, Kelley! I'm still reading. I'm probably the last one still lurking around blogs! Super tension with this...and the chair! Yikes!

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  52. playbazaarFebruary 26, 2020 at 2:40 AM

    play bazaar Satta King this is very wonderful

    ReplyDelete

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